Driving Marketing Crazy - the Flip Side part 2

Readers: If you haven't been following this lately, then this post might confuse you. Let me catch you up.

Briefly, I commented (counter wrote) an article based on an original artcle written by Mr. Geoffrey James’s of BNet - entitled – “How to Drive Marketing Crazy. (http://blogs.bnet.com/salesmachine/?p=12#comments) Mr. James recently replied to my article, and I want to take this opportunity - to respond to each point he made. In order to do that I have copied his original response (in bold Italics) here.

Buzzword clichés are not shorthand for something meaningful. The example that you give about "globally focused" is a case in point. The longer circumlocution is so vague that I defy you to define what it actually means. Just piling on more buzzwords doesn't help.

But Geoffrey you just proved my point. You just shortened “the use of more words than necessary to express something, especially to avoid saying it directly,” down to the single buzzword; circumlocution, which (while understood,) is a seldom used word in business writing.

In fact, history will show you that many words (buzzwords) are derivatives of words formally put together. i.e – circum – meaning around or round about, and locution – meaning “a phrase or expression typically used by a group of people.”

But you know this, and you also know that its use would probably be a definite no-no for sales people. In its written format, it conveyed the meaning quite well. Mainly because the reader has the luxury of being able to absorb the meaning and then perhaps look the word up the dictionary if they didn’t understand it.

Whereas a listener – as in your sales customer, would feel embarrassed if he didn’t know what you were talking about and had to ask you the meaning of the word you just used. He or She would not be impressed by your intelligence. They are simply angry that you made him feel unintelligent.

More than that, the term "globally focused" is a complete oxymoron. How can something be "focused" on the entire world? Does that mean that we cancel the ad campaign on the planet Jupiter? It's ridiculous.

I know that after you published this, you stopped to think about the definition of "global" and found your error. Knowing the error probably allowed you to render my original statement as being closer to being correct then you give it credit for. (I have often written statements that years later thought “how could I have written that?”) However, the point is - those were your buzz words. I just used them to keep with the example.

In doing so, I understood its meaning, and to cite an example, I use the much used term “global warming.” Truly “global warming” implies “affecting the international community as a whole.”

Off the top of my copywriting head: A “globally focused” campaign is necessary to correct “global warming” Our company has that focus”

Now – the writer gets the salesperson to the table by using this short distinctive copy. (maybe not this particular copy – but you get my point) As a sales person however, you better stand ready to explain in detail - your companies methodology for solving global warming.

I don't mean to cast aspersions on copywriting, but the buzzwordery that you defend is laughable to everybody outside of the marketing teams that write and read it.

(Sorry "buzzwordery" just killed my spell checker. What a buzzword!)

You are missing my full point. I am not defending all buzzwords. The problem is communications – not buzzwords. From this point forth – let’s define this as appropriate communications, meaning buzzwords have their place – not all places - as in a sales presentation, but they do have their place..

Again, I challenge any salesperson to sell in 15 seconds without using a gun or sex. Companies demand that their commercial writer – write website copy that does exactly this. The task of a sales web site (not a brochure site) is to sell using only the written word.

And, based on statistics –and eye scanning, the average length of time a landing page is viewed is 15 seconds. The trick is to stop the readers’ attention.

I'll give you an example. A top executive at Gartner told me that whenever software firms present to them, the analysts now use their blackberries to play the "spot the buzzword" game. Every time the vendor representative trots out one of your precious buzzwords, the person who clicks first gets a point. In other words, the analysts aren't being impressed into thinking that the should recommend the software, they're laughing up their sleeves. This is not good for a company's reputation.

Well I cannot argue with you on this point. If a salesperson - making a presentation to me, used all buzzwords, I too would play the buzzword game. Frankly, I would never let them finish before throwing them out of my office, and it worries me that you use an example of managers / executives who are wasting company money playing games and wasting time. In my company, they would be following the salesperson out the door.

However, the sales person / sales manager / sales trainer side of me is cringing. Frankly – I would attempt to retrain the salesperson. The one truism for salespeople is that they get paid exactly what they are worth. That poor jerk is starving.

Successful selling is communications, and successful communication is an art. However, this example is not a copywriters fault. This is an example of poor sales training. Again – the copywriter got that salesperson to the table. Sales training – or the lack of it – did the rest.

But, I agree with the use of buzzwords in a sales presentation – and I believe I stated that in my counter article. Sales people will lose when they do this – as they have clearly done in your example.

The same thing is true of customers. Eyes roll when vendors trot out this stuff. As for reporters... every buzzword we read is another nail in the coffin of a marketing group's reputation. Example: As a reporter (and I write on software frequently) I can't take Oracle marketing seriously because their press releases are so mush minded that I can't figure out what they're trying to say. As a result, I now longer believe that Oracle marketing is capable of logical thought. I perceive all their recent corporate acquisitions through a lens colored by the willful obtuseness that's evident in everything that comes out of the firm. How can those acquisitions make any sense if nobody can't write a coherent sentence explaining why they did them?

In short, goofball clichés and weasely business buzzwords just make companies look stupid to everybody... except other marketing people who talk the same lingo.

Let me answer this by stating that poor “market” writing is the results of ignorance rather then stupidity. That’s Ignorance of how and why people buy - not educational ignorance. (I have seen graduates with MBA’s who can’t form a written sentence that says anything.)

You are a reporter – and according to you – you cannot understand what these marketers are writing in their press releases. Isn’t that what you are supposed to do however – allow your reading public to understand the latest Oracle offering?

It seems to me that is the purpose of a reporter, and you have to dig to give the reader the best value. Reading a press release or white paper will not give the reader your best value. But you are not asking me about how to be a good reporter - so let me say that I tend to agree with you. However instead of lumping the problem as a copywriting issue – let’s broaden it out to simply poor overall communication skills, coupled with poor salesmanship.

You should know that you are not alone in your problem. I have clients that send me their marketing materials asking me to tell them why they don’t work, and to fix it. Many a time my hand has inched its way towards the cigarette lighter and an empty wastepaper basket.

So let’s say that we agree with the premise that the world is run by poor communicators. Worse yet, they are trying to sell us stuff using the same poor communications that others have used.

However, I have always hated people who bitch and moan about things without coming up a solution of their own – so I won’t be one.

What can be done? Here is my solution.

First, ask questions. Reporters cannot get good material from a press release. They have to ask the in between line of questions. Writers do this, and I think reporters and sales people should also. If all salespeople are doing is using words copied from a brochure or printed ad, to come up with sales presentations, then give them a broom. They will contribute to the company better if they just sweep up.

But,, that also means you need to talk to the Oracle sales staff. Now - when the sales person starts using clichés and buzzwords, stop him or her. Do not let them do it. Don’t settle for it. Make them talk to you in English. You will end up understanding more about the product, and they will end up understanding that clichés and buzzwords turn people off in a presentation format. I reiterate, buzzwords should never leave the page they were written on.

I'm saddened that your clients apparently force you to write that kind of mental creamcake because, based on what I've read here, you're obviously capable of giving them some copy that wouldn't make them sound like minor cast members in a made-for-TV Dilbert movie.

Don’t cry for me Argentina! (Careful or I will break out in song here.) That is exactly what my client pay me to do - to write copy that either sells or tells. If they say “tell” – expect to see buzzwords. I will assume they have good people to sell and my job is to create enough interest to get the buyers to the table or at least make the call.

If they say sell – expect to see product Owner Benefits (OB’s) and Good Quality (GQ’s). It will be more then a short blurb brochure, but they want to sell – not tell.

If they want to sell on a website, expect me to give them a page that will have people calling their sales staff, and expect to read text that captures the attention in under 15 seconds.

I will match the words and the content to the need. But, do not expect to see a lot of selling text (OB’s & GQ’s) on the back of a business card.

Thank you Geoffrey. Your comments have been appreciated.